


Forgiveness

by mustachio



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-26
Updated: 2012-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-19 14:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/574305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mustachio/pseuds/mustachio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Assassins are taught many things, but there are some lessons that must be learned on one's own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness

Connor nearly throws the letter out before he even thinks about reading it once he sees the name. After 16 years of silence, George Washington is contacting him again, and all Connor can feel is a lingering sense of hatred. After all the trust Connor put in him, what was it for? He doesn't regret anything that happened, not really, but he wishes he hadn't put so much of his trust in a man who cared more about freedom for everyone else other than the people of the man who was likely his greatest asset.

It's at Ellen's urging that he doesn't.

She's taking his measurements for more comfortable every day wear. It's been 16 years since the last time he's played the part of an Assassin, but old habits die hard and he's only just begun to wear clothes more appropriate for his new, calmer daily life.

"A letter from an old friend?"

Connor's expression twists into a grimace at the word "friend". He wouldn't call George Washington an enemy, but the last thing he would ever call the man is a friend. Not after the broken trust and shattered hopes that all centered around him.

"He is not a friend and I have not read it. I have no interest in speaking with him about anything."

She doesn't argue about the friend statement. Connor has never been one to lie and after 16 years of not speaking to each other in anyway, it would be hard to call the two of them friends, even without everything else that had happened between them. It was just the first word that came to mind.

"It might give you some closure if you did. Sometimes that is the only way to truly let go of whatever negative feelings you still have over everything that happened. I only know what you have told everyone, but it sounds like that might be something you are lacking. It may not always happen in the most pleasant of ways, but I think your closure might come in a much more amiable form than mine did."

That's the last thing that's said before Ellen finishes her work and leaves to go back to her shop. Connor stays in his spot, staring at the letter for all of a minute before he makes the decision to open it. Closure isn't provided by the letter, only an invitation to Mount Vernon, where Washington was now residing. He wants to speak with Connor face to face, without the delays that letters bring.

He rids himself of the letter then, but the idea of traveling to see Washington doesn't leave his mind. It isn't so much that he wants to see the man, but there are still plenty of negative feelings to go along with the memories of all that had happened, despite his now relatively happy life. If Ellen is right, it would be a mistake to pass on this opportunity.

It's this train of thought that lands him at George Washington's sick bed. Washington seemed more than a little surprised when Connor was escorted in, but motioned to the doctors to leave them alone. He would be fine, for now.

"Forgive me for my current state. I was not sick when I invited you here and, to be honest," Washington pauses here, laughs a little, although there is no real humor in it and it ends in a cough. "I didn't think you would come. I saw no need to inform you of my current condition."

It's strange seeing the former commander like this, weak and sick and having trouble breathing, when the last time they spoke he'd been worried and stressed, but still strong and able. He doesn't respond, though. He almost hadn't come. He wonders if he should have gone with his initial instincts and stayed at the homestead. It's been years now, but the old wounds still sting when prodded and Washington is just one big stick. When it becomes obvious that Connor won't be responding, Washington continues.

"I am glad you did. The reason I called you here-- it is to do something I should have done long ago. It will likely never make up for anything that happened, but lately I have found myself regretting everything that happened all those years ago." He pauses again, less to wait for an answer and more to contemplate how to word the rest of what he has to say. "I wish to apologize. I never did do that as I should have. I should have apologized for lying to you and for doubting you and allowing Lee to live when he would not have allowed me the same courtesy were our positions changed. And I am sorry for my actions, which caused the death of your mother and others of your people that I may not know of. I know this apology will never make up for the consequences of everything I had done, but I hope it is enough that I do come off as a mad man when I ask for your forgiveness."

Connor stays silent, shifts from one foot to the other and looks up at the ceiling as though that will help him come up with an appropriate answer. He isn't particularly surprised by the apology. He wasn't expecting it exactly, but Connor came here with no expectations. He was curious about what Washington could have wanted him here for after all this time, but not so much that he had made any real attempt to guess at the purpose. He sighs and looks back at the former commander, brings his hands together in front of him, and closes his eyes for a moment.

"I am part of an Order that teaches many things, Commander. We are taught of the arts, of science, and of methods of killing that most would never dream of. Unfortunately, forgiveness is something that is often left to the individual to learn on their own. Despite my best efforts, I have yet to find an effective way to teach myself this lesson. Perhaps in time, I will find a method that works, but I am afraid that for now, I cannot give you the forgiveness that you seek."

Washington is silent for a moment, aside from his labored breathing. It seems even expecting an answer, does not fully prepare one for hearing it. He closes his eyes, remains silent for another moment, and nods.

"I understand. I am sorry for wasting your time, then."

The words end abruptly, coughs taking the place of any thing else Washington might have had to say. It's strange, Connor thinks for the second time, to see Washington like this. The last time they met he'd been strong, perhaps not the most confident, but strong even in the face of betrayal and war. Now he sat propped up in his bed by pillows, struggling to get even a few words out.

"No, I am sorry for wasting yours. I hope you will have a speedy recovery, Commander."

Connor bows his head in a show of respect, but turns out of the room before Washington has a chance to respond, nodding to the doctors and Martha as he makes his way out of the house. He doesn't expect he will ever meet Washington again in the future, but it never does occur to him that it would be because there would be no recovery for the older man.

When he receives the news of Washington's death a few days later, there is a pang of regret. He doesn't feel _sad_ , exactly, but he regrets that he was not able to make himself forgive Washington when he'd asked Connor for his forgiveness. He's still not sure if he can forgive the man, really. It's been so long since he's moved on from that chapter of his life, so long since he's thought about everything that Washington wanted forgiveness for, that he isn't sure if he can muster up the energy to bring those memories back just to forgive a now dead man.

He stands on the cliff overlooking the water, just a few feet away from Achilles's grave. With eyes closed and hands folded in front of him in his usual manner, he takes a deep breath and sighs. It's as he said when he went to visit Washington. Perhaps, in time, he will be able to make himself forgive all that had happened, but for now it is still a learning process.


End file.
